Category Archives: Funny

Things that make me laugh

Muti’s Great Kudu Race

Muti Kudu Race Competition

As a bit of promotional fun, Muti is having a contest over the next 3 months. Winners will receive 1 kilogram of prime karoo kudu biltong (aka “jerky”) AND an official Muti logo t-shirt.

All you need to do is be the top Kudu Index (k-index) earner on Muti at the end of the month of March, April or May.

The Kudu Index is a measure of the quality of submissions – so this is all about quality over quantity. It won’t be possible for the winner to submit dozens of mediocre sites/news/pictures that each get a single vote.

You can view the progress of the kudu race throughout the month on Muti.

Should the winner not be contactable, as they may not have filled out details in the profile page, then it will be up to them to claim the prize. Any prizes not claimed after a month will be awarded to the next highest k-index that is contactable. If the winner happens to be a vegetarian, they will get a kilogram of prime karoo kudu food instead.

Let the games begin!

Google Biased on “African Ingenuity”

Kikuyumoja just pointed out that BoingBoing has a short piece on Google being biased. It turns out that if you type in the words “African Ingenuity”, Google will ask you if you really meant “American Ingenuity”… Nice.

Google Bias

Try it (and let’s see how long before they fix this)

In other news, it’s cool to see AfriGadget as #2 on the search engine results. Remember, anyone can send in AfriGadget articles and I’ll post them.

[EDIT: Google is pretty fast. One day later and it seems that they have fixed this little problem]

Destroy Your Website

Here’s one of my wonderful time-wasters that I pass on to people when I lack the time to write anything really substantial. So yes, this is a cop-out.

Anyway, NetDisaster is a cool site. Basically, you go there and enter in any website URL you like, choose your particular disaster, then let it run. You can choose everything from worms to acid pee. Enjoy.

Here’s mine, tomatoes and dinosaurs:

tomatoes

Dinosaurs

Celebrate: Vegemite Banned in US!

vegemite is disgustingAn Australian news site is stating that the US has banned vegemite. Thank god for that! If you haven’t tasted this oily swill before, just be glad that you have been saved the horrors. Vegemite, is closely aligned with Marmite in my mind – both are disgusting and are not fit for human consumption.

Here are some quotes on Marmite. Substitute in “Vegemite” everytime you see the word Marmite, and you’ll be right on target:

When I first came to this country I went to a friends house. He wanted a snack so he made himself some Marmite and toast. Being a naive yank and only 11 at the time I asked him what it was. He told me it was chocolate spread and gave me a spoonfull to try. Needless to say, I almost barfed on his toast.

I’ve never eaten it since and will never eat it again. It’s the most disgusting, vomit inducing, turd coloured paste you can imagine.

Marmite is hell on toast produced by the devils own satanic herd…

I breathe deeply, raise the toast to my mouth and bite.

That is not good. Not nice at all. It’s very salty and tastes vaguely alive. It’s like bad caviar blended into a paste. It tastes like the crust on a three year old bottle of Worcestershire sauce. The butter, it does nothing. I chew on. It doesn’t improve.

Marmite = Horrid English goop…. resembling axle grease. Made from dead animals.

As you can tell, I’m no lover of Marmite, Borvil, Vegemite, or any other greasy looking spreadable substance. If you have any great anti-Marmite or anti-Vegemite quotes or stories, please write them here. I think I’ll start a collection.

[Update: Unfortunately, it appears I could be wrong on this - Snopes Report.]

Ninja Text Generator

Here’s your fun and useless link of the day. Someone pointed me in the direction of Fodey.com where you they have a bunch of text generators. I gave the Ninja Text Generator a whirl:

Ninja!

Have fun, and I’m sorry if I completely wasted your time. You can never get those 30 seconds back. :)

School Pride in Kenya: Rugby

It’s been rather interesting to note that the article I wrote about Kenyan schools rugby has had the most comments out of any post that I’ve ever written (over 50 to date).

Kenya Rugby Jersey PatchKenyans are nothing if not passionate. This especially comes out when you get guys talking about their glory days in secondary school. What’s been great to see is the fun ribbing and outrageous claims, while everyone still is respectful of eachother. It makes me think of all the guys meeting up at Carnivore or something after Blackrock. Everyone was enemies on the field, but had a good time together afterwards.

The Kenyan rugby scene is a particularly good one to discuss because there has been so much change over time. The Nairobi powerhouses of the past decades have given way to some upcountry teams, only to come roaring back again from time-to-time.

Here’s hoping that the spread of Rugby all over the country will result in an even better showing on the international stage at some point. (I mean in full 15 a-side rugby, Kenya has proven itself as a GREAT 7’s side time and again)

[Note: for comments on why your school is/was best in rugby please go here]