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Celebrate: Vegemite Banned in US!

vegemite is disgustingAn Australian news site is stating that the US has banned vegemite. Thank god for that! If you haven’t tasted this oily swill before, just be glad that you have been saved the horrors. Vegemite, is closely aligned with Marmite in my mind – both are disgusting and are not fit for human consumption.

Here are some quotes on Marmite. Substitute in “Vegemite” everytime you see the word Marmite, and you’ll be right on target:

When I first came to this country I went to a friends house. He wanted a snack so he made himself some Marmite and toast. Being a naive yank and only 11 at the time I asked him what it was. He told me it was chocolate spread and gave me a spoonfull to try. Needless to say, I almost barfed on his toast.

I’ve never eaten it since and will never eat it again. It’s the most disgusting, vomit inducing, turd coloured paste you can imagine.

Marmite is hell on toast produced by the devils own satanic herd…

I breathe deeply, raise the toast to my mouth and bite.

That is not good. Not nice at all. It’s very salty and tastes vaguely alive. It’s like bad caviar blended into a paste. It tastes like the crust on a three year old bottle of Worcestershire sauce. The butter, it does nothing. I chew on. It doesn’t improve.

Marmite = Horrid English goop…. resembling axle grease. Made from dead animals.

As you can tell, I’m no lover of Marmite, Borvil, Vegemite, or any other greasy looking spreadable substance. If you have any great anti-Marmite or anti-Vegemite quotes or stories, please write them here. I think I’ll start a collection.

[Update: Unfortunately, it appears I could be wrong on this – Snopes Report.]

31 Comments

  1. I kinda like marmite!!! just a little spread on a well buttered toast! not spread on like chocolate spread or eaten in spoonfuls…its an acquired taste….mmmmm!!

  2. Acquired is quite right. One Digg poster had this to say:

    I’m Australian and I tried it for the first time when I was ten or so.

    It was then that I came up with my theory of;

    Kids will eat any old shit if you start them eating it early enough.

    I asked around and found that all my friends that liked it ate it as 2/3 year olds and everyone that tried it when they were older said it was awful.

    Not a scientific study but conclusive nonetheless.

  3. Marmite is definitely an acquired taste esp for Yanks who love everything sugared…

    Even basic cornflakes are “frosted’!

    If the Yanks made Weetbix (I miss the HOM Weetabix)… it would be coated like Pop-tarts!

    I agree that Marmite does not look appealing but loads of Vitamin B!

  4. Is that anything like those furry nuts that tasted like ruined prunes that we had at the Cheesecake Factory? If so, you can count me double out.

  5. Someone said of chitterlings: “It’s the opposite of an acquired taste; either you grow up eating them or you’ll never acquire the taste.” Vegemite is probably much the same.

    What interested me is the reason for the ban: folic acid is only allowed to be added to breads and cereals. Strikes me as strange because adequate folic acid intake is beneficial especially to pregnant women–prevent birth defects. Getting policy right is no simple matter. What I wonder is whether xenophobia played a role in this decision? Maybe more likely the person behind the ban has tasted Vegemite.

  6. Bureaucracy run krazy! Chances are most Americans don’t know of Marmite or Vegemite and probably wouldn’t like it!

    So y ban it… silly… and all the hormone filled “meat” is far worse than Vegemite’s folic acid… this is probably the result of some nut in the Department of Agriculture…

  7. I share your loathing. Incredibly Mom loves the stuff. I even brought her a jar from Australia. It would probably be impounded now by the TSA as a potential explosive ingredient.

    I had a colleague who was a world renown, distinguished linguist. Even nominated several times for the Nobel Prize. The first time he encountered Marmite was at the breakfast table in England where he made the fatal mistake of thinking it was chocolate spread. Picture this famous and much lettered man spitting his toast all over the table … not a pretty sight.

  8. Well I’m a Yank, and I like the stuff. It’s a shame that the US would go through all the steps of banning it. But it may be that you have to have been introduced to it at a young age. Mom passed her love of it on to me, probably as soon as I was old enough to eat solid foods. Obviously she didn’t want me to be as picky as you and Pam. =)

  9. Hey you! Marmite on toast is brilliant! I am so happy that they banned Vegemite in USA.

    This means Marmite can now take an even better share of the Goop market!!

    Yummy! See my post about Marmite in USA. Click here

  10. I know, you know and your friend knows… Marmite is to be spread SPARINGLY… it is NOT choclate spread!

    Marmite rules!

  11. Vegemite rulez. In fact, I even ordered it from a friend who was working in Dubai to bring it to Germany. Marmite sucks though. 🙂

    (the first time i tried it i almost vomitted but i then started to like it…)

  12. I thought Marmite & Vegemite were (almost) interchangeable….

    Marmite is what I used to eat on a regular basis in Kenya & UK… whereas I thought vegemite was the same product (different manufacturer) in the Australia & NZ

  13. Vegemite is great stuff!!! Much better than syrupy sweet jam! I should have started you at a younger age.

  14. well when i offered it to my american friend, i made the mistake of letting him spread it himself, so he layered it on until it was about 5mm thick. i think that might be part of the problem since americans generally like huge proportions.

  15. Having spent much of my life in former British colonies (Nigeria, Botswana, South Africa, Canada, east coast of the US), you would think I would have acquired a taste for marmite. Most definitely not!

    Even mopane worms are better…don’t ask.

  16. Mopane worms…? Do tell, please. There has to be a good story under there. 🙂

  17. Well, ok, now that you asked…during certain times of the year Mopane worms are abundant in Botswana and considered quite the treat. I finally got up the courage to try a few deep-fried ones (specifically so I could brag about in this sort of context) and they were…palatable…but only just. They tasted like a cross between old cheese and stale cardboard.

    Still much better than Vegemite and Marmite!

  18. Vegemite is one of those things you love or you hate, I’m aussie & was raised on it. But I dont know anyone who can eat vegemite who didnt have it as a child, so i can agree it is somewhat of an acquired taste. But ideally, have it with jarlesberg cheese :P.

    And for the record marmite is foul.. and yanks wonder about us with their vegemite.. how about you lot and your “peanut butter and jelly”, thats just strange in my opinion, lol.

    Viva la vegemite!

  19. but i must say.. perhaps vegemite could make mopane worms more paletable? 😛

  20. You’ve got to be kidding me! Banning Vegemite?! It’s the worlds best known source of vitamine B and nothing more than a yeast extract.

    Plus it’s NOTHING like Marmite, or Nutella or any other kind of spread. True, it is an aquired taste (some like it spread thin/thick or even in hot water) but it’s very good for you.

    Ultimately tho, if people in the US don’t want to eat the good ol’ vegemite, then that leaves more for me 🙂

    ps. try chese and vegemite on toast. Beautiful!!

  21. Vegemite on toast… Best hangover cure available. Fortunately the ban is bogus! This means my regular trips to the US can still be made with my trusty travel tube of Vegemite. 🙂

  22. Viva La Vegemite indeed, Marmite just isn’t the same. I love it on toast, the thicker the better. Better still nice n thick on a couple of bits of toast top with eggs & bacon then smother with baked beans & a dash of worchestershire sauce. Nothing better. Americans can keep McDonald’s I’ll stick to vegemite 🙂

  23. Vegemite has NOT been banned in the US, it’s just an urban legend. We can get Vegemite most places around here, no problem!

  24. Of course, if you eat it by the spoonful, it will not taste good. But if you spread it sparingly, it will, on a fire warmed buttered crumpet, on a frosty afternoon taste DElICIOUS. I think Marmite tastes slightly better than Vegamite, which is less salty. Unfortunately both got very expensive. Consumption will be reduced as dickheads in England banned the stuff from school menues, owing to its high salt content. But if all those obese couchpotatoes, sitting in front of the box worked up a bit of sweat, there would be no problem with eating a bit of salt.

  25. A guy in Harare buys a newspaper every morning from the same kiosk and after crumpling it up he throws into the nearest dustbin. Eventually the seller cant resist asking him why.
    I am only only interested in orbituaries….replies the guy.
    But they are always in page three…… says the seller.
    The one I am interested in will be in page one .

    The Zimbabwean government decides to pay a surprise visit to the country to tell people how lucky they are to elect them. On landing, the aeroplane they travel in, misses the runaway and crashes near a farm. Next day the police comes to investigate the crash and question the farmer:
    Where are all the bodies? ….asks the commissioner
    I paid my last respect and buried them….. replies the farmer.
    But surely they were not all dead.
    Some said so, but who believes what politiciens say.

  26. Yes, I too have grown up with Vegemite, maybe that is why i like it so much. But I will admit, it can taste very salty and sometimes can make you feel sick. I’m Australian and now I know how to use Vegemite properly!
    I love it on toast when the toast is hot you put butter on it and wait until it melts, then I add a thin layer of Vegemite and it is perfect! It is an acquired taste you can’t just slap a shitload of it on!
    I also like Vegemite soldiers 😀
    You cut the Vegemite toast slice into like long sticks then you dunk them in a soft boiled egg! Yum! (even though it probably doesn’t sound good )
    By the way., I’m only 12 years old :]

  27. I’ve recently acquired a friend who is from Australia (oddly, by way of California to Colorado) and upon inquiring about Vegemite he sent me some. So for the first time ever I tried it today on buttered toast, thinly spread as per his recommendation. I found it not only palatable, but a decent spread. The flavor reminded me of the beef boullion cubes I made soup from as a child and I liked sucking on a small piece of the cube before it completely dissolved. Very similar taste. Thanks, Craig. Now, where can I get it in the US? Hmmmmmm…..
    Oh, yeah, I grew up with the attitude that I wouldn’t know whether I liked something if I never tried it. To date the only thing I can’t handle is cottage cheese by itself. To me, that’s just nasty and wrong. But maybe with a little Vegemite? 8~D

  28. It is not made out of dead things

  29. i tried marmite it taste like shit and medicine stuck together with chewed gum and piss.its horible..don’t bother eating it i ate it at camp once when I was 10 and my teacher told me to try it but when i bit my toast i spat on my friends face and got detention.mutha fuckin marmite i hate it!

  30. I’m an Auzzie and Vegemite rocks. Totally kicks arse on peanut butter and jelly. And who calls jam jelly anyway.
    Your a Yank so stick to your fatty fast food that your use to.
    No wonder you don’t like the taste , it’s a healthy spread. 😛

  31. Marmite any time spred thinly. Worked 30 years ago in a vegimite factory and the smell was sickining .Vegimite just a weak insiped imatation for Aussies.

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